Assembly required

Recently, I spent an afternoon assembling a playground toy for my sons.

Piece by piece. Hesitation after hesitation. I bumbled through the process as it slowly transformed from a disorganized mess into a completed masterpiece.

My four year old stood by throughout the entire process. Impatiently, he wondered when it would be complete -- trying to will the pieces together with his words. Let me tell you, the boy has quite a bit of questioning-stamina. Even after four hours -- he was still energized by the potential he saw in the pile of parts.

I get that. I'm the same way.

When I look at my boys I realize that much assembly is still required. I do my best to help these pieces take shape. To mold them into men. To reveal the beautiful masterpiece. A lot of times I'll realize I've made mistakes and do my best to take steps back, minimize damage and keep moving forward.

Let me tell you: I'm building up my Fatherhood stamina. Some days I hit that wall and feel like I need a break, but a second wind is always just around the corner.

It comes in the form of a sweet hug before bedtime. Watching them share and play together. Or witnessing their eyes glimmer with wonder as they see their dad busy doing the precious work of assembly.

I was wrong vs I'm sorry

Admitting fault is a conduit to reconciliation. "I was wrong" is far more disarming than "I am sorry" when apologizing.

I break this little rule more often than I care to admit.  And it certainly isn't because I am always right. It is because I want to win.  

The problem is that winning is one-sided and relationships are not.  When you're wrong, be wrong... Let the other person be heard. Allow them to be right.  Eat that crow... and say, "I was wrong."

Let go of the need to leave an argument the victor.  Instead, leave the argument behind. 

There is little value in free

"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly." -Thomas Paine

There's no better feeling in the world than starting out thinking you can't do something and ending up being able to do it.  

A new hope

I love the new year.

Not because there's any particular significance to the calendar turning the page.  But because it has a sort of rejuvenating effect on society.  

People feel hopeful. Optimistic.  The proverbial new lease on life. 

Some of us focus on the annoyances of people resolved to change. They crowd the gyms. Take all the best vegetables at Whole Foods.  Slow down traffic with their bicycles. 

The new year makes some of us as exuberant as kids just after church camp. And yes, that can be annoying... I mean, seriously, the road was made for cars. You shouldn't be pedaling down MacArthur Boulevard in your Huffy! 

But I digress...

These annoyances are truly a small price to pay.  If we ever want to be better, we will at some point be the one slowing down traffic. 

When we resolve to do better, we often become better.  And that's no small consequence. 

I love resolutions.  And it is quite secondary whether we reach our goals.  It's important to self-examine.  It's important to strive.  It's important to humble ourselves. 

It's better to resolve and fail than to never resolve at all.

Merry Christmas

The annual tradition continues.  View all our songs at theboudreaus.com.

A gospel of action

What makes a better world - people committed to right belief or right action?

Is it one or the other? Is it both? Is it just good (or right) beliefs? Well, theologically, that's a far more complicated question because we like to think that faith is transformative. In Christian theology the issue goes straight into a matter of eternal salvation.  As you can imagine, a conversation can get stalled if you start with theology.  

Allow me to demonstrate. 

If our aim is to do good works, then what type and how much good works are required to earn God's acceptance? And if our aim is right beliefs, then is there widespread agreement on what constitutes "right" beliefs? And if so, what is the minimum amount of right belief that God requires to spare me?   

So no, I'm not raising a theological question.  That isn't to say my answer isn't shaped by my theology.  But ultimately, I'm making a pragmatic, not religious, point.

For clarity, allow me to repeat the question.  What makes a better world?  You could even rephrase it to, "What makes better people?"  It's still a pretty loaded question, but I don't think the answer is terribly difficult. 

Here's my pitch. Start by doing good. Be kind. Be honest. Love your spouse. Take care of your kids. Do what's in front of you.  Seize every opportunity to do good.  Against such things there is no law. 

Don't let the process of purifying your theology keep you from doing good. God wants us to be good, to do good -- on this point there should be no debate.  

Do you want to be a light in the darkness or a voice in the wilderness? If you want to attract people to God, start by doing good.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27