Everything I never knew I always wanted

There are a lot of ways to describe fatherhood. Fulfilling. Exhausting. Surprising. Wonderful. Exasperating. Diaper-riffic. The list of adjectives truly is limitless.  But on this eve of meeting my second child, I am most reflective of how humbling it has been be to embrace the sacred responsibility of caring for my son.

Since Moses entered our lives a little over two years ago, he has introduced me to the world in a brilliant new way.  Day after day he is consistently bowled over by the series of sparkling new discoveries he encounters.  The whole world is continuously new.  And he seems to relish it all the more when we are there to share in his awe.

The kid is fascinated by airplanes. He loves soccer. And he is mastering the iPad.  He likes throwing things against the wall, finds it hilarious when you surprise him and laughs to the point of tears when you whisper anything in his ear.

And when I come home from work, there’s a little voice that gleefully shouts, “Daaadddeeeeee” when he sees my face.

I know it won’t always be this way. But I’ve done nothing to deserve these precious moments with this one-of-a-kind kid.

I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty much the worst imaginable torture when he throws a tantrum in public or goes on a, “Mine, mine, mine…” binge.  I’ve only just begun down this road of being a dad and I’m sure these outbursts will pale in comparison to the kind of trouble a kid with a drivers license can get himself into.

But one step at a time.  One glorious and terrifying step at a time.

Tomorrow is a big day.  Tomorrow Shelley and I welcome a second child to our little family unit.  I’m eager. I’m anxious. I’m happy.

It’s hard to know what to expect having another little ball of wonder and defiance invade my existence. But I didn’t know what to expect with Moses either.

What I do know is that in opening my life to that little boy, my heart grew. And this new little soul will only make my heart all the bigger.

When friends ask for my take on fatherhood I usually say the same thing.  I knew I wanted to have kids, but I had no idea what it meant to be a dad.

It’s absolutely everything I never knew I always wanted.