Krunch time

(Since originally posting this the original images have been kidnapped. I used the power of Google to find replacements)

Tonight Shelley and I hit the Tom Thumb for an emergency ice-cream pit-stop. I enjoy the supermarket, especially later in the evening when the shopping population has dwindled. One of my intellectual abnormalities is a fascination with product packaging (and product jingles … but that’s not the topic of the moment). The experience reminded me of something that has befuddled me since adolescence: the Blue Bell Ice Cream box. Who are these people? What was the art director thinking? What’s the connection? The mystery of it all was enough to make me pull out my camera phone and share some late-night thoughts …

We’ll start with this blue collar, hard-hat-wearing hero. Can someone explain the excessive filth? Did this guy rub chocolate all over this face or does he just not regularly bathe before taking a perfect crescent moon shaped bite out of this Krunch Bar? And there’s something a little creepy about the juxtaposition of his brillitant-white, perfect smile. Furthermore, why is this tough guy holding his Krunch bar like it’s a little tea cup he uses when he plays with his dolls? It’s all enough to drive me crazy. Seriously… this guy haunts me at night. 

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Next we have a man that surely regrets ever having dreams of becoming a male model. His career peaked in the freezer isle. From the look in his face, one can apparently only enjoy the Mooo Bar while sitting atop something … pointy.

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Wow. So many possible directions I could take this one … and all of them inappropriate. Does anyone think this box actually helps the Blue Bell company move ice cream sandwhiches? Honestly, do you want that face staring back at you when you open your freezer? I feel like I should take the box to a priest and have it excorcised before it haunts me forever. “The Power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!” Yikes.

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And finally… tell me this guy doesn’t remind you of Christopher Meloni of Law & Order SVU fame … in a referee’s outfit … holding a Great Divide Bar that looks like it’s talking to him. Ok. That’s enough of Halloween night at the Blue Bell office for now.