“Parenting is a journey of constant adjustment, not a path to perfection.”
Janet Lansbury
When I first became a dad, I thought the hardest part would be sleep deprivation or figuring out how to install a car seat without losing my mind. Turns out, it’s a little more nuanced than that.
Parenting has this sneaky way of holding a mirror up, showing you all the things you’d rather not see about yourself—like the fact that I’m not nearly as patient as I thought, and maybe I am the kind of person who leaves socks in random places.
But what really gets me is how, in raising my kids, I’m constantly being reminded of the person I want to become. It’s not just about teaching them right from wrong; it’s about living the example I want them to follow.
I’m not shooting for perfection—let’s face it, I’ll still lose my cool over a stray Lego at 2 a.m.—but there are certain qualities I want to lean into. Qualities that, if I can pull off even half the time, will make this whole parenting thing feel a little less like chaos and a little more like growth.
I’m not aiming for perfection—because let’s face it, I’m still going to step on a Lego at 2 a.m. and lose my cool. But there are a few qualities I really want to lean into. Qualities that, if I can consistently practice, will make this whole parenting thing feel a little less like chaos and a little more like growth.
So, here’s my attempt at a roadmap—traits I’m working on, not just for my boys, but for myself.
Kindness
First up, we have Kindness. Ah, kindness—it’s like that warm, unexpected hug you get from someone who doesn’t realize you’re slightly sweaty from running to catch the bus. It’s that tender, almost magical ability to soften the stoniest of hearts with nothing more than a smile or a well-timed cup of tea. And in the realm of parenthood, it’s about as essential as knowing the precise location of the nearest bathroom at all times.
Generosity
Then there’s Generosity, which, in the parental handbook, extends far beyond forking over the last slice of pizza. It’s about giving your time, your undivided attention, and occasionally, your sanity, all in the name of nurturing these little humans who believe every cardboard box is a spaceship.
Curiosity
Curiosity is next, and let me tell you, it’s not just for cats. It’s that relentless pursuit of knowledge, that insatiable “Why?” that echoes through the halls at all hours. It’s about the likelihood of dedicating your dusk hours to understanding the physics behind the perfect slime consistency, just to keep up with your son’s intense fascination with non-Newtonian fluids.
Empathy
Now, Empathy—that’s the real kicker. It’s the ability to tune into the emotional frequencies of a pouting preschooler and decode the complex signals of a toddler meltdown. It’s like being an emotional detective, one who’s realized too late that the pay is in hugs and the occasional sticky, juice-box-stained high-five.
Compassion
Compassion is the superhero cape we wear when the world seems a bit too harsh, a bit too unkind. It’s the power to heal skinned knees and bruised egos with a kiss and a well-placed band-aid. It’s what turns a simple “It’ll be alright” into a beacon of hope in the stormy seas of youth.
Welcoming
Welcoming is the art of opening your arms, and occasionally, your refrigerator, to the myriad friends, foes, and frenemies our kids bring into our orbit. It’s about creating a home that’s less about matching furniture and more about unmatched memories. (This one is… quite challenging for me.)
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is perhaps the trickiest of the lot. It’s looking in the mirror and acknowledging that, yes, those bags under your eyes are designer, and no, you don’t really have all the answers. It’s a journey of discovery, where the most profound revelation might just be that wearing socks with sandals is never, ever a good look.
Optimism
Optimism in parenthood is like believing that one day, you’ll get through an entire meal without discussing bodily functions. It’s a glimmer of hope that shines brightly, guiding us through the darkest of diaper changes and the most catastrophic of public tantrums.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the parental superpower that allows us to look past the shattered vase, the crayon masterpieces on the living room wall, and the occasional fib about who really ate the last cookie. It’s about understanding that mistakes are just part of the package, much like those assembly-required toys that never quite look like the picture on the box.
Silliness
And lastly, Silliness—it’s the secret ingredient, the spice of life in the often bland stew of daily routines. It’s the ability to laugh at ourselves, to find joy in the absurd, and to remember that sometimes, the best response to life’s chaos is a good, old-fashioned tickle fight.
The Beautiful Mess of Progress
Of course, this is all easier said than done. Some days, I feel like a parenting guru, full of wisdom and patience. Other days, I’m just trying to make it to bedtime without losing my sanity—or the remote. But I remind myself that progress is messy, kind of like the kitchen after a toddler’s snack time.
And that’s okay.
The goal isn’t to be flawless; it’s to keep showing up, keep trying, and maybe laugh a little along the way. Because if I can at least do that—while dodging the occasional Lego landmine—then maybe, just maybe, I’m doing something right.
